I love this look!

This was the look Connor sported before our bike ride tonight.  He went and found the sunglasses himself.  He says he doesn't like the way the sun gets in his eyes when he's trying to peddle! 

I think he's going to do just fine in life....he just wants to make you smile...

The meeting at the gas station

I'm pretty sure I had seen it before, but tonight, I saw the part of it I don't think I ever wanted to see.  I was on my way to pick up the boys from daycare, and passed the corner convenience store. 

There they were, two cars.  One car with a lady and a girl.  The girl being about 7 years old or so, that seemed very excited.  The car next to theirs was a car with a man in it, who was getting out of his car, excitedly as well.

He opened up the back door of the car that was next to him, and the girl almost lept into his arms, while her mom dug for some imaginary thing she had dropped on the floor of the car, never looking at the man that was embracing her daughter like he hadn't seen her in years. 

It was so precious, yet so disturbing, all in the same moment.  I was stopped at a stop light, so I witnessed the whole thing.  The mother digging around on her floor, the father so excited to see his, what I would guess to be, daughter, and the little girl just about ready to turn inside out she was so excited for what was about to happen.

The whole thing just made me kind of sad.  Actually, really sad.  How does your life get deteriorated to the point where you are meeting at corner convenience stores to "exchange" children?  I'm only assuming that is what happened, but I've witnessed that a couple times in the town that I live.  And unfortunately, for the parents, it is never a happy moment.  What happens to get you to the point? 

For whatever reason, I just had to blog about this.  Maybe because it just touched me, affected me, bothered me, and everything else in between. 

I drove the next 15 seconds to daycare, and when I picked up my boys, gave them an extra hard hug that day, which they gladly received.  I just love picking them up.  The glow on their faces when they see me is just priceless, like they hadn't seen me in forever, and are just so excited that I showed up.  I just love those moments.  And they aren't happening in a gas station parking lot. They are happening in their "second home".  Their daycare, with their friends, their security, and familarness. 

I'm going to try to get over this now, but it is still weighing on my mind.  What will this girl remember in 20 years???  Will she remember a gas station, or the thrill of her father or mother picking her up?  Will she remember what got her to that point, or will she remember the love they have for her when they are alone? 

My years of psychology classes have trained me to think this way, which I love, but sometimes leaves me thinking about things that have no answer - at least now.........

Happy Father's Day, Kyle...

It's been nearly ten years that we've been married, and nearly 20 that we've known each other, and I don't think there has been a time that I have love you more, until now.  We've had our challenges (and we'll leave it at that), but know each other so well now, that we've seemed to have reached a perfect place.  As every relationship, we have learned, is not about challenges, but about loving the other person for everything.  For their perfect-ness and less-than-desireable parts.  It took us a while to figure that out, but after especially the last couple of months, we've come to a new place of love.  Thank you for being an awesome father for your boys too...

You do such a perfect job teaching them how to appreciate nature.  Although Connor was scared to death of these fish that were as big as him, you coaxed him up to the tank, and had him laughing and giggling in no time.

 

The boys would follow you anywhere, as long as you lead.  This has more meanings than I could even type.

You do such a good job at taking them places that they would otherwise not go on their own.  Connor would go beyond the 2 foot deep water, until you coaxed him into the deep end, and had him actually having fun. 

 

You are such a kid at heart too.  I have always noticed how kids are drawn to you.  At first I thought it was just your freckles, because they made you look different.  Kids always smiled at you.  I think though, it's just your young heart.  This sense of a kid that you carry with you everywhere.

l

I appreciated how you teach the boys to stop sometimes, and just enjoy what they are doing.  For living in a home with three boys that go 100 miles per hour most times, you seem to have taught them to enjoy what they need to enjoy.  Just stop and look. 

And the goofball in you is always there....

Always having fun...

 And still doing your part to save us money.  Even if it means Tyler gets the mohawk that he has been asking for for months.  This still makes me cringe, but that fact that you are okay with it, makes me smile.  Happy Father's Day, Kyle!!!

The first lost tooth

It all started earlier this week.  Tyler said his tooth was loose, which is what he had been telling us for months.  Apparently, most of his friends at daycare had started loosing teeth, and Tyler, not to be one left behind, starting to make fictitious loose teeth in his mouth.

This past week he started  talking about his "loose tooth" more and more, and I finally checked.  Sure enough, his bottom front tooth (the first tooth that came in as a baby) had become loose.

By today, it was so loose, it was gross.  I can do poop, and I can do puke, and just about anything else that can happen to a child, but I can't do loose teeth.  Oh. my. goodness.  It gives me the heebey-jeevies like no other.  Yuck.

All day long, Tyler played with this tooth.  A couple times he asked me to pull it out for him, which in my attempt to even touch anywhere close to his lip, had him laying in a lump on the floor totally terrified that he would experience the most pain ever.  So, I left it alone (which was TOTALLY okay with me!).  Knowing Tyler, this was NOT going to come with an excessive amount of drama.  He is our Drama King.

Tonight while sitting outside, he must've finally had enough of it wiggling around in his mouth.  (It was so loose, it makes me cringe to think about it right now.  It was wobbly and wiggly and just plain , yucky!).  He finally pulled it out.  It was a totally, non-climatic event.  And now he lays in his bed, asleep, with his tooth in a sandwich bag in hopes that the tooth fairy will bring him $150.  Seriously, that is what he told me right before he went to sleep.  I told him not to be too disappointed, because if she started giving out $150 per tooth, I might start knocking my own teeth out.

But my little baby Tyler is growing up.  Soon his adult teeth will be coming through, and while sitting with the neighbors tonight, I got a glimpse into the teenage drama we will have yet to endure as well.  Some days time seems to move at a snails pace, and sometimes, it moves way too fast, and I can envision cars and girlfriends and college. 

Although I love the fact that every day they are a little bit more independent, a little bit bigger, and litter bit closer to that goal of adulthood that they both seem to posses, it still makes me a little sad.

Such a little tooth, but such a big milestone. 

Love them more

Sometimes our evenings are a bit more difficult than others.  Tonight was one of those...

Connor had a bad night from nearly the minute he stepped out of the car.  He didn't talk, he just whined.  And if he wasn't whining, he was crying, and if he wasn't crying, it was an all out tantrum.  It was difficult.  It was one of those nights where I could've just totally lost it, but somehow managed to keep it together.

On nights like tonight, I find myself even more intrigued when I got to check on them in bed.  After a night of nearly wanting to give them away to the next passing car, I find that my love for them grows.  It's so hard to be a little boy, and follow rules and directions, and just do what you don't want to do, when you don't want to ever ever do it.

As I checked on them in their beds tonight, I paused a little bit longer over them.  Tyler is usually buried in his pillow so deep that you have to actually find him in his bed.  I adjusted his blankets so he would be comfortable, then kissed his head.  He gets so warm in his covers, and I always stop to think if I should leave the ceiling fan on or not. 

When I checked on Connor, he was totally passed out on his back, as he usually is.  I just stopped and studied him as he slept, watching his chest rise and fall, and watch how he had his "rag" (an old burp rag that he seriously uses as a blanket) tucked into his neck (which is how he usually falls asleep), with his puppy laying next to him, having been apparently tucked in by Connor himself.  I studied his tan face and hair that keeps getting blonder every day.  He looks like a little beach boy now.  How could that cute little face have given me such fits just hours before?

I find on nights like tonight, I just love them even more.  And then when I look through pictures like these, they make me laugh.  These boys are just awesome, and make me smile every day.

 Connor sitting next to the pool. 

Don't let him fool you, he is not innocent at all...

Here is the entire "gang" in the pool.  Chase is the neighbor boy who is 13, but really a little boy at heart, still.  He loves to come over and play with the boys, and especially their toys!

Tyler's stunt of jumping into the pool from a running start.  I think he did this nearly 100 times!

Connor, of course, has to copy Tyler.  He did a running leap too, and loved it!

But my favorite picture from the weekend is this one.  Tyler had dug a hole that is about a foot deep, and put his cones (that are usually used for soccer or as bases for a baseball game) to put around the hole so no one would fall in.  I laughed so hard when I saw this, and didn't see him do it.  I guess Tyler even thinks "Safety First" sometimes.  What a hoot!