Strength

I have a good friend that reminds me frequently, "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." The teacher appeared last night.

I went to bed at about 9pm, exhausted. I'd been catching puke in my hands for hours after Kyle picked Connor up from daycare at 3pm after he puked twice. He's puked everything I think he had eaten in the last week, all last night. By 8pm, I finally got him to bed, and then got myself ready for bed as well.

For some reason, I turned on ER as I got into bed. I haven't religiously watched ER in years, but it used to be my favorite show. Then all the good people left, then came back again, then left again, and then I gave up. If I want soap operas, I'll tape them in the afternoon...

I'm laying in bed watching it, and there is a part where one of the doctors is working in a Hospice home, and is having a conversation with an older gentleman. The older man is telling the doctor to just suck it up and go back to his family, and get over whatever he was upset about. The old man told him...

"I wish I would've had kids. I never did and I regret it to this day. Kids make you strong. They give you strength you never would've otherwise known you had."

Holy Cow. This could not be more true. After having kids, everything comes into perspective, and you learn so much more about yourself, like:

• You can survive on little to no sleep.
• You can sleep sitting up, in a chair, in the middle of the day.
• If ready and willing, you can nap within 30 seconds.
• You will eat a cold supper so your kids can eat first.
• You can go without eating after you realize that you forgot to feed yourself.
• You can watch Elmo on TV for hours at a time (this requires a lot of strength for me).
• You can handle meltdowns for anything (i.e. a shoe is tied wrong or the cookie has a chip out of it).
• You can wipe poop, off of everything - making yourself wait until last.
• You can catch puke in your hands.

Although these seem like little things, on a daily basis, they become a part of your life that years ago, you never would've even realized could exist some day. I remember being pregnant and saying "I can handle poop, but NEVER puke", until I was spit up on when Tyler was 2 weeks old. I've run 5 loads of laundry in the last 24 hours because everything has been puked on - including Kyle, Connor and myself, at least a couple of times.

I guess there's something about what children can do for you. They make you stronger so you can raise them, but at the same time, make your heart turn to mush every day. A smile, a hug, or a first "ma ma", is enough to reduce you to tears at times.