When laws became optional

I realized the other day as I was driving to work, that I was totally annoyed that the car in front of me had come to a complete stop at a stop sign. "Are you freaking kidding me?", I thought, "I'm driving here!".

I think when Tyler was a couple weeks old, and I was finally brave enough to venture out on my own, I learned a whole new style of driving. There were a couple different methods:

1. Drive really fast, because the baby is asleep in the backseat and you don't want him to wake up before you get home.
2. Drive really fast, because the baby is awake in the backseat and you don't want him to start crying before you get home.
3. Drive really fast, because the baby is screaming in the backseat and you need to get home NOW.

These three styles of driving have stayed with me as the boys have grown, but now also include the following:

1. Drive really fast, because everyone is happy and you want them to remain that way for the remainder of the trip.
2. Drive really fast, because everyone is crabby and you want to get home before they break out in an all-out whine.
3. Drive really fast, because Tyler keeps pinching Connor and won't keep his hands to himself and you might kill yourself as you try to turn around and make the imaginary boundary between him and his brother.

With all of these variables happening while you're driving, you're bound to pick up new habits. Mine include (but are not limited to):

1. Not stopping at stop signs
2. Barely slowing down for some stop signs
3. Pulling into the garage or a parking spot at 25 mph
4. Tearing around corners on two wheels
5. Cussing at stop lights and any other driver that dares pay attention at any annoying road rules.

I thought these rules only applied to me, since Tyler was such an unhappy baby and spent most of the first year of his life crying unless we were holding AND bouncing him, but I found out other parents do this as well. My aunt, whose kids are both grown and have kids of their own, told me she stills drives like this to this day. After 30 years, she said, it's quite a hard habit to break.

So, don't tell the police to be watching out for me. They'll find me soon enough. I can only hope if they do someday, it will be during one of the times when both kids are in an all out wail/scream/whine/kick/body arching madness. You know the one. The one that made you this crazy driver in the first place!