Yep, it was as hard as I thought it would be

I jetted out of class early today so I could meet Kyle and we could go pick up the boys. Today was going to be their last day of daycare, so we wanted to pick them up and take them immediately to Frog Hollow - so they could meet their new daycare classrooms.

All day long I thought about it - actually about how I could get out of it. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to do it - because as I sat in class all day, every time I thought about it, my eyes welled up with tears.

Once we reached daycare, I moved fast. I hadn't seen the boys since Monday morning because of school, so I kept my mind focused on getting them. I moved directly to Tyler's room, and Kyle went to Connor's room.

Tyler met me quickly, actually with disappointment. He was hoping to go to Frog Hollow with Daddy, and didn't understand that I was there to go there with as well. Because that conversation involved me assuring him 500 times that we were going, and that kept me even more distracted.

I then moved to their cubbys - which is when I really had to hold back the tears. There were their tiny lockers that they had throughout their time at daycare - where they kept their spare clothes, their blankets, their toys for sharing day, had time out, and hung their coats. They are simple, wooden, open lockers that are just big enough to hold their whole lives.

As I grabbed all of the items out of their cubbys, I just shoved them in bags as fast as I could. I caught glimpses of the notes that teachers had left in there, telling them, and us, goodbye. Connor's teacher even got him a present of Matchbox cars. There were more clothes than I ever remember bringing, just because I never brought them all at once - it was a collection of the years. Water bottles, sunscreen, and even diaper cream that I brought years ago. All there for us to take home.

All of their artwork had been taken down off the walls for us to take home, and Tyler's class all signed a card for him. A going away card from 4 year olds. They had a party for them today too.

Luckily Tyler ran out of the daycare, as he usually does, which meant I had to chase him out into the parking lot so I didn't have to say goodbye to anyone. I'm horrible at goodbyes, and usually end up avoiding them at all costs. I know I shouldn't - but I turn into a big blubbery mess when I have to tell someone goodbye, which actually even surprises me sometimes since I try to be this iron constitution of a personality.

We finally left, and I didn't look back, because I couldn't. I didn't even unpack their bags until just a few minutes ago and found this card...

Staci took care of Tyler for a little while, but spent most of her time with Connor. She had Connor the day he started, and they immediately bonded. "Staci" was one of the first names he learned to say after Mommy and Daddy, and for what I know, he could've said her name first. He sat on her lap during the day, and would also go to her when he wasn't feeling well. She was his mom at daycare.

Although I know Frog Hollow will be beautiful, and a much better Preschool opportunity for them, saying goodbye just breaks my heart.

Lit'l Russellers, you will forever be remembered by us. Your kind hearts, and taking care of our children when they were having good days, or driving you crazy, will never be forgotten.