Today, I once again encountered one of my not-so-favorite parts of being a working mom...Needing to just get up and leave.
I had the pleasure (*cough cough*) of sitting through a meeting with some senior leadership where they were discussing a task like they were inventing penicillin or something. I at least got to contribute, and made our organization not look like total, unorganized, idiots.
I was watching the clock constantly. The meeting started at 3:30, and based on the agenda, it couldn't last longer than a hour - or so I thought.
4:30
4:35
4:45
I am then asked a question, which necessitates me leaving the room to call someone that works for me, in which I take the time to quickly call Kyle and tell him I am late. No answer. I text him, and no response.
I walk back into the meeting, which is still going in full force. It's 4:50, 4:55, and still no answer from Kyle. If I'm not out of the parking lot by 5pm, I will never be to daycare by 5:30. Although there is not anything special about 5:30 (daycare closes at 6pm), I just refuse to leave my kids there past that time. I've arrived after 5:30 in the past, and that is TOTAL MELTDOWN time. All the kids are exhausted, starving, and have just HAD IT with the day. Half of them are crying, and some are nearly hysterical. You know what - me too!
Finally, one of the other directors stood up at about 5pm and said he had to go. So, I did too. "I've got to go get the kids!", I said, and practically ran out of the room.
I absolutely HATE getting to that point. I have neglected my family, lied to my husband, and totally stressed myself out - for my job. Yes, it's my job, and they pay me decent, but at what point do I have to compromise my family for my job, or my job for my family.
That line is always towed very carefully. Honestly, my job wins more than anything. I can't help it, I'm addicted. I know it frustrates Kyle sometimes when I have to rely on him to take the kids and pick them up because I can't- but it frustrates him more when I tell him I can pick them up - then call at 4:45 and tell him I can't.
I know these choices won't get any easier with my job, and it's just something I have to come to terms with, but it's a battle every day. Constant trade-offs and compromises. What bothers me even more is wondering at times what my kids will remember of those days. The days where they are one of the last 3 kids at daycare.
Will they think anything of it? Will they care? Or will it leave an imprinted mark on them forever?
I had the pleasure (*cough cough*) of sitting through a meeting with some senior leadership where they were discussing a task like they were inventing penicillin or something. I at least got to contribute, and made our organization not look like total, unorganized, idiots.
I was watching the clock constantly. The meeting started at 3:30, and based on the agenda, it couldn't last longer than a hour - or so I thought.
4:30
4:35
4:45
I am then asked a question, which necessitates me leaving the room to call someone that works for me, in which I take the time to quickly call Kyle and tell him I am late. No answer. I text him, and no response.
I walk back into the meeting, which is still going in full force. It's 4:50, 4:55, and still no answer from Kyle. If I'm not out of the parking lot by 5pm, I will never be to daycare by 5:30. Although there is not anything special about 5:30 (daycare closes at 6pm), I just refuse to leave my kids there past that time. I've arrived after 5:30 in the past, and that is TOTAL MELTDOWN time. All the kids are exhausted, starving, and have just HAD IT with the day. Half of them are crying, and some are nearly hysterical. You know what - me too!
Finally, one of the other directors stood up at about 5pm and said he had to go. So, I did too. "I've got to go get the kids!", I said, and practically ran out of the room.
I absolutely HATE getting to that point. I have neglected my family, lied to my husband, and totally stressed myself out - for my job. Yes, it's my job, and they pay me decent, but at what point do I have to compromise my family for my job, or my job for my family.
That line is always towed very carefully. Honestly, my job wins more than anything. I can't help it, I'm addicted. I know it frustrates Kyle sometimes when I have to rely on him to take the kids and pick them up because I can't- but it frustrates him more when I tell him I can pick them up - then call at 4:45 and tell him I can't.
I know these choices won't get any easier with my job, and it's just something I have to come to terms with, but it's a battle every day. Constant trade-offs and compromises. What bothers me even more is wondering at times what my kids will remember of those days. The days where they are one of the last 3 kids at daycare.
Will they think anything of it? Will they care? Or will it leave an imprinted mark on them forever?
But, because I'm not feeling that entirely dark and depressed today, I've leave this on a bit of a positive note. In all likeliness, my job won't cause Connor or Tyler any self-confidence issues. Our Wii Fit will do that.
If that machine asks me one more time if I "have trouble walking" or frequently "bump into things", I might just toss it out the window! This day, Connor was enjoying it. Although he can't play the games much - he likes to pretend!
1 comment:
Hi there, I'm a new reader, also from Iowa! I totally related to this post. It's hard to be a working mom. And even worse to be in a demanding job!
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