For those of you that want kids, STOP!

Okay, well... maybe not stop, but proceed with caution.

I had a great idea today. (You can see where this might be going...) I thought since we had to get a couple things at the store, that we could possible make a "family night" of it. You know, a trip to Wal-Mart with the kiddos and the hubby. We could even grab a sandwich at Subway, leisurely walk through the store and pick up a few things that we need, and grab a birthday present for the party Tyler has tomorrow night. (This kid is officially invited to more parties than I am now!) Kyle also agreed that was a great idea.

Next time, we decided we are both going to either have to be drunk, or heavily medicated. Both, if at all possible.

We got to Subway as the boys were starving, and ordered two $5 foot longs (now the song will be going through your head over and over and over and over again too!). Both Chicken, because the boys love chicken. Since the boys wanted chips, Kyle and I both got a value meal - hey we're saving money already and haven't even started shopping yet! 2 chips, 2 drinks and 2 foot long sandwiches. That could certainly feed a quaint family of four!

Holy Lord

Tyler was furious that he didn't get his own drink. This is about when everything started going downhill. He stood at the pop machine whining for about 5 minutes about how he wanted Diet Pepsi, but Kyle had already filled his glass with Lemonade. Oh - the Horror!!!! (Tyler, you are a total drama king, if there is such a thing! And, I wouldn't give you Diet Pepsi at 6pm if my life depended on it!)

After we finally convinced Tyler to sit down with us and eat, preferably without whining, I cut my sandwich in half. God forbid, a sliver of lettuce had landed on his side of the sandwich! You would've thought someone had attempted to cut off his leg with the body writhing and squirming that proceeded. I picked off the lettuce, and any possible "lettuce juice" it left behind, and convinced him that if he ate his sandwich, it would help him grow big muscles.

We finally finished eating, and Connor needed to go potty. Awesome. Everyone knows how much I love the Wal-Mart bathrooms, and we got to experience them, yet again. At least this time I could suspend him in the air and aim - a definite benefit to having a boy. We didn't have to touch anything, and they had actually replaced the dead flowers on the sink with fresh ones. Lovely.

Once we got to shopping, Connor found the candy. At that point, I had already reached the "whatever" stage and let him grab what he wanted. It was one of those ring suckers, and he carried it around the whole store. Tyler freaked out about halfway through the store when he noticed Connor had one and he didn't. (Insert me cussing under my breath here.)

We got the necessities. Seriously, we needed milk, bread, butter, etc. Stuff that you would normally only buy before a snow storm, or every other day around here - based on the recent weather. We then needed to go to the toy section to buy something for the party Tyler has tomorrow night.

Never. Again. Never again will I take Tyler to buy a present for someone else, especially when that someone else is another 5 year old boy that has the same interests as Tyler.

After we decided on a toy (a cool Nerf gun), Tyler proceeded to throw another semi-tantrum in the toy section because HE WANTED ONE TOO!!!!! Now, Kyle and I were both beyond reasoning with him, and seriously, at least twice, considered leaving him at the store, or pretending that we didn't know who he was. He was awful.

He drug the toy with him through the store, all the while saying "This is MY gun, MINE, I want this gun, this isn't for Jackson, this is for ME!", and on and on and on and on. It was ridiculous.

At the cash registered, Connor spotted more candy, and gum. Tyler had a death grip on that stupid gun, and then knocked a whole pack of candy on the floor while flipping it around while trying to keep it from us. Candy went everywhere. Kyle was beyond frustrated because we were at the "self-checkout" which wouldn't scan half of our items, and if I heard that lady say "Please Put the Item in the Bagging Area" one more time, I was going to absolutely lose it, right then and there.

We got home, and nothing really improved. Tyler had tantrum after tantrum out of pure exhaustion. Kyle and I got to the point where we fought about how to disciple a kid that is misbehaving, but also tired, so we started yelling at each other. Tyler was so tired tonight, I think Kyle literally hog tied him and put him in bed at about 7:50. He was out in 2 seconds.

The night continued with a lovely chorus of cuss words out of Kyle because he couldn't get our home computer to work and me trying to finish my paper for school while typing with only my left hand because Connor was at one time, glued to my right leg.

Connor closed the night for us by getting out of bed 1,584 times.

I'm exhausted, and although I love my kids to death and wouldn't trade them for the world, I'm glad no one asked me why I had kids, at 6:25 tonight.