Heartbreak

Tyler's excitement as he watched a gator at The Rainforest Cafe when we were in Chicago.

Today was the day.

It was the first day that Tyler decided he wanted to take his OWN money to the store and buy a toy.  He usually gets cards for his birthday and holiday from his grandparents with money in it, and has been sticking it in his bank for a long time.  He recently starting putting some of that money into to his wallet that Grandpa got him.  He was "cool" doing this.

Connor took a nap (and I SO wanted to also, but since Kyle was already napping on the couch, I decided it would be a very bad idea to have both of us napping with a 5 year old running around - so I forced myself out of the chair).  I went and found Tyler, and asked him if he wanted to go to the store.  "YES!" He immediately answered, "but only if I can bring my wallet because I want a toy!", he replied.

"Awesome", I thought to myself, "he finally wants to start taking this into his own hands."  So, we head off to the store with myself, Tyler and his wallet containing $28.  I stopped at Starbucks and got a triple shot of espresso (seriously, I was that tired), and I was good to go.

We arrived at Wal-Mart, and we double counted his money just to make sure.  We took out one $2 bill and I explained to him why we couldn't possibly spend that, but the rest was good to go.  $26 was good to spend on anything he could afford in the store.

We got into the store, and made a beeline to the toy department, where he immediately found the Nerf gun section.  To me, what a total waste of money, but to a 5 year old boy, that must be the Holy Grail, because there was no other aisle he was even closely interested in except Legos, which cost $50 for any set he wanted.

He picked out his gun that he drooled over for a couple of minutes, and it was $19.96.  He was so proud.  He smiled from ear to ear, and picked it up, and his whole face just beamed with happiness.  I don't know if I have seen him that happy in a long time...

"This will be MY gun, Mommy, that I bought with my OWN money...." he said very proudly. 

"Yes it will, Tyler, yes it will..." I replied, with tears in my eyes.  Seriously.  (I don't know why - maybe because I realized how fast he is growing up.)

We had to meander through the store back to the infants department to get Connor some pull-ups for nighttime, and then walked to the registers.  The whole time, he just talked and talked about random things, and it was so nice.  We had so much fun.  It just makes me smile to think about it.

As we walked to the register, I found one that was open, and as we walked toward it, I asked him if he was ready to pay for his gun, and then looked at his hands.  All he had was his gun.  His wallet was gone.

"Tyler, where's your wallet?" I asked him.  He looked at me with the most panicked look on his face.

"I don't know, Mommy, I don't know, where is it, where is it???" he started to say... having an absolute panic attack.

"We'll walk back through the store at anyplace where you may have set it down, and see if we can find it... it's okay...it's okay..." I told him.  I had to keep telling him it would be okay.  He was nervous, and the tears were starting to form.

We looked and looked, and we didn't find it.  He was heartbroken.  I was heartbroken.  I told him I would pay for the toy and he could pay me back WHEN we find his wallet, and he just stood at the cash register and cried and cried.  I have never seen a more heartbroken cry from Tyler, ever.  He was so disappointed in himself, he didn't even know what to do.

We walked to the Customer Service counter, and gave them our name and number, and a description of it, and the whole way home, I had to explain why we might not see it again, but hopefully a nice honest person will find it and turn it in.  Then I had to explain what honest meant, and that it could, but why it might not possibly turn up.

I kept telling Tyler that this was a good lesson learned, and everyone has lost a wallet, and I bet he'll (I'll) never do that again.  I'll make sure we have it in hand at all times, just so I don't have to see that heartbreak again.

But, I'm checking my cell phone every 5 minutes to make sure I haven't received a call from the store saying they have Tyler's wallet, and heart, for us to pick up.