Tuesday, February 22, 2011


First, I must suggest you listen to the link below:


If you don't have time, that's okay.  I think you'll get the point.

That song is the old eToys commercials theme song.  I have loved that song for years, especially after having my boys.  It's so cute, so innocent, and just so...perfect. 

Today, Tyler stayed home sick.  That poor kid had a fever of 104.1 when I left for study group on Monday night.  I felt so bad for him.  He had reached the point where he was sitting in the chair, and looked at me, and just started crying.  I don't think he knew what else to do, he felt so horrible.  I gave him some Children's Motrin, and Daddy sat in the chair to hold him.  He was almost too hot to hold.

I stayed home with him today.  He was so sick that his poor little body slept and slept and slept.  He woke up at 4am to go to the bathroom, and still had a fever.  I gave him more Motrin, and he went back to sleep.  I had to wake him up at 11:45 this morning.  Yes, that would be lunchtime, folks.  My child, that rarely sleeps beyond 7am, EVER.  I finally thought it probably wasn't smart to sleep much longer.  He had to be dehydrated, and if his fever broke (which I knew it did - I was checking on him every half hour) that he would likely be hungry.  He really hadn't eaten since Sunday. 

He was perfect.  He sat up in bed - almost startled that I woke him up.  He then climbed down out of bed and immediately asked where Connor was.  I had to explain to him that it was lunchtime, and Connor was at school.  It was then that I got to hear his squeaky voice.  Although his fever was gone, so was his voice.

Tonight he was tired at bedtime, so it wasn't hard to get him into bed.  He climbed into bed, we read a few books, and then I left their room.

About 20 minutes later, I was sitting at the kitchen table, and Tyler walked out.  He told me he wasn't tired, to which I wasn't surprised.  After sleeping till noon (I'm not sure I remember the last time I slept that late, if I did ever.), I'm sure he wasn't tired.  I wouldn't be either.

I asked him if he wanted to sit in the rocking chair.  That is our routine, when he was a toddler.  Tyler never liked the rocking chair, voluntarily, when he was a baby, but once he reached about two years old, he finally would sit in my lap.  We would read books, relax, and usually both end up falling asleep.  That was awesome.

We sat in the rocking chair in the living room.  This is the same rocking chair that we had in Tyler's room as a baby that we nursed/rocked/soothed in when he was a baby.  There are a lot of memories in that chair.  A lot.  We sat in the chair tonight and I had my Pandora going on my computer in the kitchen.  I had been working when Tyler walked in, and had a perfect channel on to listen to.

As we sat in the chair, I grabbed the Toy Story fleece blanket from the basket, and wrapped up Tyler, and sat down with him.  As we started rocking, a song from the kithcen, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" started playing.  It was awesome.

We just rocked, and rocked, and he cuddled up to me.  He's so big now.  That boy that was a little over 7 pounds at birth, is up to my chest now, at 6 years old.  By junior high, he'll be taller than me.  I'm going to enjoy every cuddling moment I can with him.  I just relaxed and listened to the music, and rocked, and rocked.  It was hard to even think of stopping.  I remembered the days that I would just fall asleep (work was a bit less hectic those days), and it was beautiful.

Tonight I remembered what is really important.  I worry a lot about what I'm doing, and even more about what I'm not doing.  I'm not doing enough work, enough tasks, enough anything, but what is really important right now?  I found it tonight.   It was right there in my arms.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


Some odd things that happened today (besides generally the whole day, that I really won't bore you with because it would probably contain a whole bunch of whining...)

I pick the kids up from daycare, and go through my normal routine... 

a)  Sign them out
b)  Head to Connor's room
c)  Look for Connor
d)  Have Connor run over to me yelling "MOMMY!" with his arms wide open.  (I love that part!)
e)  Grab stuff out of Connor's cubby

Okay, stop right there.  I still laugh out loud about it.  There was a paper in his cubby that said (and I quote):

"Dear Parents,
   Our records show that your child   EDDIE   was enrolled in gymnastics lessons...."

Okay.  Yea, yea, I forgot to pay Connor's Gymnastics Express tuition for the quarter.  [They have an awesome bus that comes to the daycare center that has been retrofitted to be, basically, a gymnastics gym.  Before you knock it, you should see it.  I didn't believe it either, but it's amazing.  The guy that runs it was in the Iowa Gymnastics program years ago, and just loves little kids.  He also plays Santa Clause during their winter program (for a little added trivia).]

So, how did a paper for Eddie end up in Connor's cubby?  I have no idea...  And who is Eddie?  And did he not pay his tuition either?  Or has there been a big mix-up and Al from the Gymnastics Express has been calling Connor "Eddie" for the last year?  I don't know why it made me laugh so much, but just the different combinations of how that could've happened, I find amusing.

Now I just have to plan to have Tyler picked up directly from school on Friday so he doesn't go back to daycare for his before and after school program.  Why?...

There is a sign on the door announcing their Valentine Party they are having Friday afternoon.  To participate just bring enough valentines to share with 59 STUDENTS?!?!?!?!?!?!?  WHAT?????  I did a triple-take.  59??????  I already bought two boxes of Valentine's for the kids actual school classes, and now they are having a party with the ENTIRE Before and After School program?

No.  Mommy don't play dat.  Sorry, Tyler.  I can do 20 for your class, but 59 is crazy.  Usually everyone includes candy in their Valentine as well, so that would mean about 59 pieces of candy/candy bars/sugar would be coming home and we would then fight about that all weekend.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  That's insane.

And... since Kyle and I communicate more via text and e-mail anymore, I sent Kyle this e-mail tonight:


Can you pick Tyler up directly from School on Friday? I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want him to go back to Frog Hollow for their Valentine party, because I'm lazy. LAZY ENOUGH that I don't want do 59 more Valentine's. Are they kidding? 59. No way. He doesn't need to do 59 Valentine's, and certainly doesn't need the candy from 59 of them either.

Let me know if that would work. Otherwise, I need to go buy 4 more boxes of Valentine's at the store.

Crazy at home,


So it's been an odd day all around.  Every time stuff like that happens I look at it and go "okay, if that is the worst or craziest thing that has happened to me all day, we're in pretty good shape!"  And at least with the antics that happen with the kids, I can always laugh.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Just smile

I have a few friends that are going through some tough times with their kids right now.  It's anywhere from the always being sick phase, to the "do we give up the bottle/pacifier?" phase, to the "what on earth have I done phase?".  I just smile when I hear of their frustrations, because I vividly remember them, and even still feel some of them (especially the "what have we done???").  It really makes me think back and remember...

I remember wondering if Tyler would EVER sleep through the night.  At 8 months, that boy had not given me more than 2 full nights of sleep his whole life (and those were by accident, he was very sick), and I was tired, and exhausted, and frustrated, and just done.  And it finally happened.

I remember the time when Tyler was 10 months old and he was so sick and Kyle called me at work and asked if he should call 911.  I didn't feel like I should be missing so much work, but that call changed it all for me.  I went home, and was lucky enough at that time to have a boss that called me before she went home that night and said these exact words (which I will never forget), "Jenny, take care of your family.  They are your priority right now.  We'll be fine.  Help Tyler get better, and we'll see you when he's healthy.  And please let us know if you need anything"  I literally burst into tears, right while I was on the phone with her. 

I used to hate it when people would tell me "You'll miss it when it's gone." because at that point, there was NOTHING I was going to miss about that time.  I was stressed out, maxed out, and just spent.

Then I look back to that time, and although I know my mind has blocked some of the "bad parts" out, I'm still doing that today.  Our days aren't perfect, and I have a mouthy 6 year old that has a favorite phrase of "that sucks" (which I hate), and a 3 year old that gets mad and likes to hit me.  They both have seen time out more this weekend than I would have preferred.

Just to remind me of how good I have it, I like to look back through pictures.  They make me smile, and just love those crazy little boys more than ever...

 Tyler with Daddy.  I think he was about 4-5 months old here.  He wasn't sleeping at all, and I was insanely jealous that my husband was getting a full night sleep, since I was still nursing.  He was literally sick every week, and was probably sick in this picture too.  It was ridiculous.

 Fast forward a little bit - Tyler had removed the register vent, and climbed into it.  Seriously.  I could not keep up with that kid to save my life.

 Then we added another one.  Connor was 6 days old in this picture.  I love this picture more than any picture we have.
 This was Connor in the hospital while having his pictures taken.  They actually captured him giving us a "salute".  So very cute.  He was so little, and was just the cuddliest baby ever.  Even the nurses said he was special.  They did not say that with Tyler.  I have since figured out why.  (No offense, Tyler.  When you are 30 years old I will explain to you what I mean.)

 And then the cuddly baby started to eat food.  He was 11 months old in this picture, and his favorite was lasagna, can you tell?  It drove me crazy that he got so messy.  We went from the high chair to the bath tub.  What a good time that was though.

And my goodness, that kid was addicted to his pacifiers.  If he didn't have one, he had two.  And usually one was in his hand and one in his mouth.  I was so worried that it would be so hard to get rid of them, but didn't actually appreciate the sane-ness they were giving me at the time.  And people told me "don't use them if you don't have to", and "you'll be sorry".  To this day, I love pacifiers, and think they are God's gift to Moms.

 Sometimes I think I don't give Tyler enough credit for teaching Connor things.  This is Tyler teaching his little brother how it's done in the pool.  Connor was a little skeptical, at first, and then jumped right in.  Tyler can be the most awesome big brother at time, and sometimes, the most absolute worst. 

And then, before I knew it, Tyler graduated from Preschool.  Graduated?  From Preschool?  Wait, where did the first 5 years go?  How could they be gone?  Where was I?  How come I don't remember everything?

I use to think to myself "Why is this so difficult?", and "this is crazy - why on EARTH do people have children???".  Those days were the worst.  And then I realized why.  I try to listen more carefully now to these little boys, and just hear what they are saying.  I love their cute voices (Tyler sounds like a little boy, and Connor like a little man), and I even enjoy when they want to snuggle in bed with us in the morning. 

Looking back now, I wish I could've made time slow down a little.  It moved so fast, and though some of the times I wouldn't want to live again for anything, it was the whole package.  It was getting up 15 times at night, but then having them give you a hug in the morning.  It was getting puked on, and then realizing one day that they know your real first name.  I'll never forget the day that Tyler called me "Jenny".  It was almost as if I was finally a person, to him, and to me.  I know that sounds strange, and I can't explain it, but that day brought tears to my eyes. 

It's so easy in retrospect to say what I would have done different (because there are too many things), because as I type this, my 2 young boys are in the living watching Rambo.  Yes, Rambo.  And one is pointing a Nerf gun at me now.  Gotta go.

Where has the time gone?