Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
See how many of these movies you recognize! Almost all of my favorites are here, and some I didn't remember until I saw this! (Mom! The meatloaf!!!) he he he...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
He started by throwing dirt in his brothers face. Then, when it was time to come inside, he looked right at me, and called me "stupid". I hate it when he says that, and he says it just to get me going, and he knows it works. Then he proceeded to walk backward in the yard, while giving me the "I dare you to come get me" look.
By the time I finally got him inside, he was pissed. He knew he finally lost (when I finally caught him and literally drug him inside. I WILL NOT let him disobey me) and was not happy about that. He had a total meltdown in the middle of the living room, and although I walked out of the room during the height of the tantrum, I could hear things being thrown all around as he tried to get his hands on anything he could chuck at the walls.
Then I lost it.
I hate it when that happens.
Something literally snaps in my brain (I can almost feel it), and I simply cannot handle the crap anymore. Period.
I yell, I scream, it's almost as if I'm trying to force the words into his head, that he so defiantly won't listen to.
After those episodes, and sometimes even during them, I have to calm myself down. I tell myself that the reason he is doing whatever he is doing because he doesn't know any other way to express his emotions at that time.
And then I do the same thing.
All night then, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt that just finds a way to my shoulders, and sits there like a giant dumbbell for the rest of the night. Then the guilt weighs even more heavy when I go check on him while he is sleeping, and he's so peaceful. So quiet, and so precious.
I really suck at this parenting thing sometimes.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Finally - after about his 5th time calling, I finally interrupted my boss, and had to answer it.
"I JUST PICKED CONNOR UP FROM DAYCARE HE HAD TWO BLOW OUTS TODAY WHERE ARE YOU WHEN WILL YOU BE HOME I TEE OFF IN 20 MINUTES!", he yelled into the phone. It was all one sentence too, and sounded just like that.
I explained to my boss that Kyle was going to start having convulsions in about 10 minutes if I didn't hop in my Delorean and time travel back to earlier this afternoon so I could be there to not interrupt his golf game, then I politely excused myself.
The whole way home I was thinking, "Okay, how are we going to do this tomorrow?". It's the typical game of "who gets what shift", when the kids are sick.
Upon my arrival home, Kyle was sprinting to his truck when he asked me, "What are we going to do tomorrow?", and then proceeded to list the numerous people that have jobs, that could also watch Connor tomorrow.
(Are you ready for this? This is the good part. Are you ready??? Sit down.....)
I asked, "What time do you have appointments tomorrow?".
His answer, "I don't have any appointments tomorrow, I'm in a Golf Tournament in Amana with Mike!"
A-hem. "Really? A Golf Tournament? And you either want me to miss work, or even better, one of our relatives or friends, so you can play in your golf tournament?"
He ended the conversation with "FINE! I'll just tell Mike I can't golf with him tomorrow!", and he jumped in his truck and left. I'm sure this isn't the end of this conversation.
I really do love Kyle's passionate quest for perfection in everything he does. He doesn't do anything half-assed (except laundry sometimes), but this gene he was implanted with does not stop. It never slows down, and makes for some very interesting conversations at time.
Stay tuned. I can't WAIT to see how this one turns out. But I'm getting up and going to work in the morning. (Although, since I'm on my 7th day in a row of feeling like dog poop, I would LOVE to stay home and at least nap when Connor naps. This cold I have is defeating me. My body is desperate for sleep, but I don't want to let this one die!)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
I had a chance to take them today. My first meeting wasn't until 8am, and that NEVER happens, so Kyle took that opportunity to get to work a) on time and b) without snot on his pants. That honor was bestowed to me today. (I did literally have to come home to change after my meeting in Coralville this morning because I had some unidentifiable stain on my shirt that would not come out!)
I got the boys to daycare, and we went in. Because it was later than I had normally taken them in the past, it was pretty busy. We go to a daycare center, and because of that, it means there are dozens and dozens of kids arriving every few minutes in the morning. By 7:30, when I arrived, the place was nearing capacity.
I took the boys to their rooms, and then I felt the guilt. The guilt that I don't have too feel often. For whatever reason, although knowing the boys are at daycare all day doesn't bother me when I'm at work, but leaving them there in the morning seems to hit a nerve that I'd rather not have touched.
We started the routine of hugs and kisses. Connor sat down in his room and got served his breakfast. (After he gets food, he ignores me, so I was okay to leave.) Tyler went to his room, and told me he wanted breakfast too. Although both boys eat at home (Connor had cereal and Tyler had apples and grapes), they always eat at daycare too.There were three tables to choose from, and he chose one, and his friend Robert quickly sat down next to him. Another girl, Kandelyn, sat at a table by herself, and a couple other kids sat at the 3rd table. It's odd that they don't sit together, but I guess when you're 4/5, you're old enough to decide where you want to sit.
I guess it was seeing Tyler sitting at the table, waiting for his food. He looked at me, and although I would've liked to help him, anyone other than daycare staff are forbidden from getting the food. The staff wears their gloves while they dish up the food, which means one kid gets served at a time, first come, first serve. That meant Tyler had to wait a few minutes.
I don't know why I keep rambling about this, but I can't get that image out of my mind. Tyler sitting there, waiting for his food, patiently, looking up at me, with his big hazel eyes and smirky grin.
Although I know I would go crazy at home with them all day, it's as if I am leaving a part of my heart at daycare everyday.
Probably because I am....
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I wonder if she knows that during every sleepless night when the boys were just born, I thought of her. She had these same sleepless nights when I was little, and she made it through. Just the thought of that, made me make it through, too.
I wonder if she knows that I think of her every time the boys are sick. So sick that they are just burning up in your arms. I think of how she tells me that I used to get such high fevers, they were scary. Knowing that she held me at those times, makes my eyes well up with tears.
I wonder if she knows that during every day that I am at my wits end, I think of her. I know there were days we drove her absolutely CRAZY, and she made it through. Just knowing that, makes the days go so much faster.
I wonder if she knows that there are often times, when my little boys will look at me, and my heart grows ten sizes bigger, just to hold the love I have for them. Sometimes I just stare at them because I cannot believe they are my own sons. I know her heart grew the same.
I wonder if she knows just how much I appreciate every thing she did for me, and although I don't often say it, or show it, I think of her often, every day. I could not have realized what it was like to love a child, until I had my own. And what makes it just amazing to me, is that she has done it for my entire life.
I love you so much Mom. Happy Mother's Day.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
"Mom, when we have the Mother's Day party at Daycare on Thursday, can Daddy come?"
Seriously, can Daddy come to the Mother's Day party, instead of me!!! I wasn't quite mortified, but I did realize that Tyler's obsession with his father is much more than I had thought!
If I am alone with the kids, Tyler is fine. He's my "best bud" (as he says it) and we have a great time. When Kyle is around, forget it!
All day Sunday he didn't let his dad out of his eyesight! If Kyle so much as went to the bathroom, Tyler was there, with a worried look on his face asking, "Where did my dad go?". I think I heard that question 100 times, at least!
He spent the day helping Kyle landscape outside, and I'm mad at myself that I didn't take a picture! About halfway through the afternoon, Kyle took his shirt off since it was nice outside. Tyler immediately proceeded to take his shirt off too. Kyle had on Nike gym shorts, and Tyler had on Nike gym shorts. Kyle wore his old Nike shoes to do yard work, and Tyler wore his old Nike shoes too.
When Tyler walks out in the living room in the morning, the first question is "Where is my dad?". When I pick him up from Daycare, the first question is "Where is my dad?". Get the point?
I call him Mini-Me now. Although sometimes it hurts my feelings (like when he told me he would rather not go to the store with me, but I should still pick up his favorite gum for him!), I guess it could be worse. He could dislike both of us!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
We kicked it off by going to a wine/beer tasting in Cedar Rapids on Friday night, and stayed up at the Marriott on Friday night. That was the 3rd night we have spent together, away from the boys since 2004. It was much needed!
Saturday we spent all day outside, and I did get some peace and quiet for an hour or so around noon when I got them both down for a nap. That didn't last long, when I figured out that Tyler wasn't sleeping at all, but redecorating his room for me. Yikes. I'm still looking for the nail that he pulled out of the wall when taking one of his pictures down.
We had a birthday party for one of Tyler's friends, later in the afternoon, and spent the evening with the neighbors sitting by a bonfire.
Today we re-landscaped the front yard. Actually, Kyle did most of it while I did grocery shopped (BY MYSELF!), and attempted to put the interior of the house back into some sort of shape. It's amazing how it gets destroyed so fast!
It's amazing just how nice and successful a weekend feels when the weather is nice outside! It was absolutely gorgeous, and we enjoyed every minute of it - as did the boys. Connor was out at 7:15 tonight, and Tyler fell asleep in the chair with Kyle just after that. We had him in his bed by 7:30.
I'm pretty sure Kyle isn't going to make it much longer either...