Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My biggest mistake as a parent, so far...

"Mommycanwegotonightandgetmyblackspidermansuitpleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!", is what I was met with when I picked Tyler up from daycare on Friday night.

For whatever reason, he had in his mind that he was going to get a Black Spiderman Costume that he wanted to wear for Halloween. He then proceeded to melt onto the floor into a pile of tears and basically a big blubbering mess. I literally had to pick him up off the floor and agree to whatever he asked for at that time, in order to prevent the most massive tantrum I had ever seen, which I knew was right around the corner.

The whole way home Tyler asked for his "Black Spiderman Suit", and insisted we go get it right then. I dodged that as long as I could, and we arrived at home, where the whiny tantrum continued. Tyler obviously hadn't taken a nap that day, and has been not taking naps more often than he does taken them now. Tyler without a nap is okay, until about 5pm. You have a 1.5 hour window between 4:30 and 6pm that you pay for every minute that he didn't nap.

I looked at Kyle and said "What do we do?"

This is when we had the decision of our lives to make. Do we cave and go get the costume? Make a special trip into town on a Friday night, or do we tell him no, and make him deal with it. Does he get a reward for being an awesome kid at daycare all week - a reward that he chose himself. Although, this really isn't a reward - it's he just wants something... (You get the picture of the conflict in my head...)

After about 5 more minutes of whining, I caved. We got in the car and drove to Target to get him his Halloween costume. Right at that moment, because he wanted to.

I'm certain that this was only the first of many times we have to make that decision. Do we cave in and get our kids what they ask for, on a whim, or do we hold our ground and tell them no, they have to be reasonable to wait.

We set a precedent that night that I'm sure Tyler will remember - and that is that if he whines enough, he will get what he wants. A precedent that I said I would NEVER set with my kids. They were NOT going to be spoiled, and I would NOT give them everything they asked for. There's nothing wrong with "wanting" something - it's when you get "everything" that it becomes a problem. (or so I believe)

Oh - and did I mention this stupid costume scares the living HELL out of Connor. Seriously, Connor was basically attached to me all weekend, scared to death because he was afraid. "Tyler is going to get me!", he would say. And then he would ask to "Put the mask away!" I do have to admit. When Tyler has the full costume on, it is scary!!!

So, I've completely failed as a parent by getting Tyler what he had a tantrum for, and in the meantime, scared my younger son so much that he will probably be in therapy for the rest of his life. The poor guy even woke up crying - not a cry, cry, but a scared, cry...

Currently, my savior of a neighbor Vicki has the costume hidden at her house. Tyler thinks it's at the "Fixers" because it had a hole in it. I think the "Fixer" will have it until Halloween.

I can't wait to see how I'll screw them up next.

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