Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tyler's 2%

Tyler at the Devonian Fossil Gorge at the Resevior


Tonight, Loren at sweetentaters.com posted about her 2%. She explained how taking her triplets to Target is impossible because they are good only 98% of the time, but it's the 2% of the time she will remember.


This really hit me.

I hate to post about it, AGAIN, but tonight was another one of those nights. I was greeted at Daycare by Tyler's teacher telling me how bad he was today. "He didn't take a nap, he told Roly he hated her, and he was very hard to control..." are some of the phrases I remember Jesse telling me before I left.


I know Tyler isn't an easy child. He never has been. Since the day he was born, Tyler was a "high maintenance" child. (Ask anyone that knows me or him. Seriously.) I have got to the point that if people I know say they have "fussy babies" I will ask them to bring the baby over, or to go visit them. I can calm the most fussy of babies after dealing with the most difficult infant, that grew into a toddler, and now into a preschooler.

With all of that being said, I have learned to manage Tyler. It is a little bit like walking a tightroap, but I can do it - pretty damn good. But I still have bad days, like today.


Tyler's "bad day at daycare" continued into the evening. He totally freaked out the whole way home because I wouldn't give him candy, which included him spitting, kicking, and trying to actually bite me in the car. Nice.

After we got home, he ate everything in sight. He was STARVING. Usually, Tyler's outbursts are a result of a) not enough sleep, b) eating the wrong food, or not enough food or c) one parent has been absent for a couple of days. (insert my own gulp here)


When I picked Tyler up from daycare tonight, I hadn't seen him since Tuesday morning at 6:30, when he jumped into Kyle's truck to go to daycare, when I zoomed off to work. Over 40 hours had passed from the last time I saw him.

Now the guilt kicks in. There were a number of reasons for Tyler's behavior today.

After he finally came out of his bedroom that I threw him in when we got home, I held him. I hugged him, and I just let him cry. And I tried really hard to not start crying myself. The boys get really worried when I cry. (Actually, the makes my heart grow ten times bigger for them because they are sensitive little boys).

Tyler's "2%" of bad behavior today had completely taken over his day. I have papers from daycare where he drew letters, colored pictures, and wrote his name. Things that I'm certain he couldn't have done while having a spaz attack.


I often focus on Tyler 2% behavior in the evenings. I go to bed worrying, and actually buy books about "How to deal with a Spirited Child" and "Dealing with the Difficult Toddler", instead of focusing on him. I'm trying to "fix" him, without remembering to just love him.

Tyler needs my love 100% of the time. Not 98%.


Thanks Loren!

2 comments:

Peggy said...

So true. So hard to remember in the moment though, isn't it. The "bad" moments, that is.

loren said...

:)

glad I could help, in the midst of all my nonsense! and I'm so glad to hear your sale went so well.