Thursday, April 29, 2010

There's no place like home

I am currently sitting in a hotel room in Munich, Germany. What an opportunity I had this week to spend the week in Ulm, visiting with other Procurement Professionals from various companies all over Europe. It was absolutely incredible!

I did take note of some interesting things though that seemed at first like small things, but grew to be bigger issues as the week went on...

A taxi from Munich to Ulm costs 200 Euro, when the train breaks down. Yes, I had purchased my train tickets to get from the Munich Airport to Ulm, and was sitting on the train just waiting to see where it would take me. This was after I spent nearly a half hour looking at the freaking map to see if I could tell where I was going. As we were sitting there, some guy got on the train and started yelling at everyone in German, so everyone started getting off the train. Being the stupid American, I followed. He ended up telling everyone that the train had broken down, and there was no estimated completion time. We were to go upstairs and get our money back. (He was just about that friendly about it too.) I went upstairs, noticed the 200 people in line waiting for a refund, said "forget that", and found the taxi stand. Met a wonderful cab driver that was originally from Hungary, who nearly cried and hugged me when I tipped her generously for driving all the way to Ulm for me. The group I was with made fun of me all week because of this cab ride. "Stupid American".

If I see another bottle of mineral water, I will throw up. I drink lots of water - and by lots, I mean LOTS. Literally, probably more than a two gallons a day. We did not have water this week except in my hotel room from the faucet. There is no bottled water in the conference room, or offered at dinner, lunch or breakfast. I drank a lot of apple juice, and started getting used to the mineral water - but I did notice that no one drank a lot. You see us in meetings at work and people are sitting there with their big coffee cups, Mountain Dew, etc. Nope. Nothing like that at all. I was so thirsty when I finally got to the hotel tonight, I drank about 6 glasses of water.

It frustrated me beyond belief that I could not speak German. I found it so rude that when I was addressed in German, I would have to respond in English. Everyone I met spoke good English, so it was okay, but I almost felt ashamed. I was with a group of 35 people, all nearly my age, and all fluent in at least 2, if not 3 language. Sure, I can speak broken Spanish if I have to - but that didn't work in Germany. I did enjoy hearing all of the accents, and find myself using such simple English when I speak now so I can be understood.

Along with the German language issue, I found it frustrating that when I approached a door, I couldn't tell if it opened out or in. The door tells you, but you have to understand what it's saying. THAT was frustrating. Imagine me at a door, trying to nonchalantly trying to figure out whether to push or pull.

There are 863 different ways to flush toilets here. Seriously, every one is different. I laughed at myself once as I found myself staring at the toilet/wall/floor, etc., trying to figure out how to flush it.

Germany is so exceptionally clean, it is unbelievable. We went on a tour today of a large facility in Ulm, and I could not even find a trash can to spit out my gum. All the cans are labeled for their type of recycling, so I didn't want to put it in the wrong can. Spearmint Gum after 3 hours is kind of disgusting.

Everyone I have met is in such good shape. I have not found one obese person, and on the other hand, I would call them quite lean. I noticed that no one really snacked. It seems in the US our events revolve around food. In Germany, their events revolve around the company. You spend lots and lots of time talking and socializing, and eat very slow. The first night I got my salad and main dish from the buffet at the same time. Everyone looked at me like I had lobsters coming out of my ears.

I was surprised at how little of sleep I can actually survive on. I'm sure it will catch up with me this weekend, but I think I have had no more than 15 hours of sleep since Sunday. Had a whole 1 hour on the way over, and was up pretty late every night (dinner would go until 10pm or later every night). Last night I went to bed at 4am.

It is not a good idea to drink lots and lots and lots of beer with your new found friends, and then ask them to teach you German. You will not remember any of it. Everyone was having such a good time with the German Phrase Book I bought before my trip. Seriously, it is a book the size of a cell phone that contains "critical phrases". Those critical phrases include:

"Bieten Sie Enthaarungen an?" (Do you wax?)

"Du riechst so gut." (You smell so good)

"Gen nicht. Ich mach dir Fruhstuck." (Stay. I'll make you breakfast)

"Ich mochte eine herausfordernde Tour unternehmen, aber keine Sauerstoffflaschen mitnehmen." (I'd like a challenging climb but I don't want to take oxygen)

Seriously, the Europeans I was with with literally doubled over with laughter, so apparently the $7.99 I paid at Barnes & Noble was a hit. On a more serious note, why on EARTH would these be considered critical phrases??? If you have got to the point where you are using these phrases, will you seriously be using your Phrase Book? And maybe you require a some therapy.

I can't wait to get home to see my boys. I talked to them almost every morning before they went to daycare after I finished lunch. I asked the question, "When are you coming home" nearly 100 times, but that's just fine. As far as I'm concerned, I can't be home soon enough either!

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