Sunday, March 29, 2009

My work here is done.

I've spent a total of 79.5 weeks of my life pregnant. Watching everything I ate and drank so as not to hurt the baby. I then spent a total of 24 weeks on Maternity Leave, a total of 12 months breastfeeding, and by now, approximately 15 nights total out of the last 4.5 years, that I didn't have to get out of bed to take care of someone.

I've changed 8 million poopy diapers (I doubt this is an exaggeration), and cleaned up puke, drool, urine and any other bodily fluid you can think of out of the carpet, my clothes, and the car.

Now, Tyler wants nothing to do with me. When it comes to bedtime, he wants daddy. If daddy, God forbid, leaves the house, Tyler will FREAK OUT. He was very clear when he told me this weekend I wasn't supposed to kiss him, ever again.

"You're Yucky!", he says, "I told you not to kiss me!"

Both of the boy's worlds use to revolve around me. I was their lifeline to this earth, providing clothing, shelter, hugs and kisses, and everything else that would make them happy. Daddy was, at that time, just someone to play with and be a pinch-hitter, when Mommy wasn't around.

Now, they want the pinch-hitter all the time. Daddy makes better food, plays golf better, tells better stories, etc. You get the picture.

Don't get me wrong, the free time I'm finally experiencing for the first time since 2004 is amazing, but at the same time, it was nice to be needed. Connor still wants to cuddle when he's tired (or not feeling well), but that's about it. And unless I want to start introducing horrible sleeping habits again, I'm not going to start rocking him to sleep again, although I want to so bad.

I guess it all comes down to what you heart wants and needs. The feeling you get in your heart when your little boy runs to you when he gets hurt, or asks for you when he goes to bed.

Again, I've been pushing for their independence their whole life, and now I'm getting it, and am not prepared for it myself.

1 comment:

loren said...

And to top it off, you get hit in the face with a pie.

Yes, my mother told me. ;)

I know what you mean about getting what you wish for. I try to enjoy every minute of the hardest times as well as the good because I know someday those "hard" days will be missed. At least that's what I tell myself!