Compromises Today

You would never guess what I'm doing right now. Never ever. Nor would I have guessed it about 5 years ago....

As I type this, I'm sitting on the floor of our bathroom. Seriously. I could be sitting on the toilet (with the lid closed, of course), but that is too close to the tub, and could result in a fairly new laptop, being destroyed. See, Tyler is in the tub, and didn't want to get out today (like most nights), so - simple compromise! I get to mess around on the computer, he gets an hour bath. He can sit in there until he splashes water out of the tub, or literally wears himself out - whichever comes first.

We make all sorts of compromises today that we didn't have to a couple years ago. Some people would call them "sacrifices", but I like to refer to them as compromises. Okay - sitting on the bathroom floor, in your pajamas, being a referee to decide when the water gets splashed just "too much" and it's time to get out, doesn't sound like fun for most people - but it works.

I think one of the largest compromises I had to make, was with myself. Everyone that has kids quickly learns that it isn't about them anymore, but I never realized just how true that would become. I've always been very "career minded", and would admit (only in a court of law) that I am a "yes woman". (Remember that old Monster.com ad?) Only recently have I had to stop myself and admit failure (or so it felt), in order to compromise with my family.

I've had to make changes at work recently that were very painful for me, especially to admit that I can't "do it all", and then give those projects up to another co-worker that seems to be able to do it all. That didn't sit too well with me, and still doesn't. But I learned a very valuable lesson from a former manager that I talk to every once in a while....

He was a manager for years, and I asked him "how did you do it, for that long?".
His response... "Jenny, I went to work in 1986, and came home in 1994. During that time my little boy grew up, and graduated from high school, and I missed it. I missed a lot of it. I wasn't there, I was at work. If I wasn't at work, I was thinking about it, and my family knew that..."

That really hit home to me. I have one vivid memory as a child. For a period of time my mom went back to work as a nurse. She was working second shift, which meant she dropped us off at a babysitter for a couple hours in the afternoon until our dad could come get us. My dad was like clockwork, and showed up about the same time every day, until one day, that time came and went. The minutes ticked by like hours, and he still didn't show up. I was so worried, I was about sick. The family that babysat us started eating supper, while my sister and I sat in the living room and waited. He finally showed up, and I felt like a prisoner of war that had just been rescued! He was finally here! He didn't leave us! He still loves us!!!

Yea, that was just a fluke. He probably got stuck in a meeting, or had to get a project out, and just one night had to stay a little later. I'll never forget how I felt though. I still vividly remember that night like it was just last week. What the interior of their house looked like, where they were sitting, what I was doing, etc. I remember all of that because of that one night. I don't remember anything else that happened there.

I have to make a committment going forward that these people (my family) are the most important people in my world, and that includes my husband. He accused me of being married to my job, and lord knows, he's right. I've spent more time in staff meetings the last week than I have talking to him!

So, going forward, I will watch this ad every day, and just remind myself, what is it that we are really doing? Yea, it's a very important job (I just keep telling myself that), but when put in to this perspective by kids, puts a whole new spin on things. I'll have to think hard before compromising the most important people in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJB0CzlzSwY