Let me start by saying I'm a Super Wal-Mart addict. Actually, I'm in recovery, but still an addict. I can seriously spend every dime I have in that store on everything I can justifiably need, but....not really need. I set a new record there a couple weeks ago, spending $400.86. Seriously. With that much spent, you would've thought I bought a TV, or new tires - but no, this was food, diapers, etc. I couldn't believe it myself, and thought the computer had an adding problem or something.
So, today starts like most Saturdays. I'm up WAY before daylight with Connor, and Tyler wanders out at about 7:45 - which is sleeping in for him. At that point I thought for sure that Tyler wouldn't need a nap that day after sleeping so late. Oh, I couldn't have been more wrong.
At about Noon, Kyle decides we should all go to Wal-Mart. Especially because I need an oil change. (Correction, NEEDED an oil change - about 2,000 miles ago. [Right now my dad is falling off his chair and weeping for me because a) that I neglected my car that long, and b) that I took it to Wal-Mart for service - you buy deodorant at Wal-Mart, NOT get oil changes]. I am having the hardest time doing anything now that doesn't resemble laundry or giving small people a bath - so oil changes or even visits to the dentist are nearly impossible.)
Right before we head out, Tyler starts his "tired whine". Oh - very distinct. Everything is a TOTAL tragedy when he's tired. I think one of the wheels on his tractor wasn't moving quite right. Oh my god, you would've thought his entire world was coming to and end. It was at this point that I mentioned "Maybe Tyler should stay home and take a nap". Kyle reminded me that 4 hours ago I thought he wouldn't need a nap, and "Let's go!". It's times like these that I don't say a whole lot, just grit my teeth, and mention to Kyle, "Fine, but he's yours.", which is always followed by a "Whatever..."
Getting Tyler into the car was such a chore, I was almost in tears. I'm not sure why, but I think it's because I knew what was about to happen. As I was literally throwing Tyler into Kyle's car, and Kyle politely mentioned that I could probably use some time to myself. I thanked him for the 5 minutes I was about to receive, and got in to my car. Kyle had the kids in his car, I drove by myself in order to drop my car off for service.
We get to Wal-Mart, and Kyle apparently has to get his glasses adjusted, and headed off to the Vision Center, leaving both kids with me. He had completed neglected to mention this before we left, so I was a bit surprised. And then, I had both kids by myself, in Super Wal-Mart, by myself, in Wal-Mart....
Yes, I just repeated myself, but that is what was going through my head. I NEVER, EVER, EVER shop with both kids. To be honest, it scares me to death. Connor is easy. So easy. He just sits in his carseat - and today, didn't make a sound. Tyler sat in the cart (after I bought him some Sprite -which he can have on his diet), and I thought "I can handle this". We head back to the baby stuff to spend a small fortune in diapers and baby food, and then Tyler decides he's done sitting in the cart.
"Mommy, help me..." He keeps saying. With the huge carseat in front of me, I can't really see what he's doing. He's trying to climb out of the cart. After a desperate attempt at negotiating gone wrong, I let him out of the cart. THAT SCARES ME TO DEATH! What do I do if he runs off (which he's been known to do), I can't leave Connor, and weaving in and out of Wal-Mart with a cart chasing a 3 year old would be like a scene from the movie "Cars". "I can do this, I can trust him, just keep him distracted...."
"Tyler, can you get me some milk?" Tyler gets the milk, and literally drops it into the cart. We got WAY lucky on that way that milk didn't explode everywhere. I beeline through the back of the store, keeping him busy. Then he finds a huge display of Coke cases. He is pounding on the Coke cases like they are his drums. People are everywhere, and I cannot pull him away from that damn Coke display. I bribe him, I beg him, I try to have an intelligent conversation with him. Finally, letting him some more pop gets him to move away, and we continue down another aisle. It's a nightmare. People are stopped everywhere, and he just keeps moving. I was probably reported as a "Drunk Cart Driver" or something, the way I was plowing people over.
Kyle shows up an aisle later, and take Tyler to go get his haircut. (Okay - this is why I love Wal-Mart. Where else can you get your oil changed, buy your groceries, and get a haircut, all in the same hour???) I make it through the rest of the store, just me and Connor. He doesn't make a sound, and just sits there and literally smiles at me the whole time. (He's the reason people have more kids!) We get to the cash register, and it all falls apart again.
You've been to Wal-Mart. It's just not a Wal-Mart without every cash register that has about 10 people in line, with $100 minimum stuff in their carts. I pick one line, then opt for another at the other end of the store. I have to stand in line so long, my feet literally hurt. I read every headline on every trashy magazine, as well as every cookbook up there.
Just as I'm finishing up, and Kyle shows up with Tyler, who is EXHAUSTED at this point. Kyle mentions something about wanting to kill Tyler, and we fight his coat on him. Poor kid, he's so tired, but Daddy is even more frustrated. It's times like that where I get a smug smile on my face, and don't say a word.
We get in the car to head home, and Kyle says "Boy, Tyler is really tired".
"Hum" I say, "It's too late for him to take a nap now, I guess when we get home, he'll have to play outside with you."
Hee Hee, I'm so evil. Let this be a lesson to all you dads out there. When Mommy says that the baby needs something - she's usually right!
Tyler did do without a nap today, but not well. Some friends stopped over tonight with their 6 year old, and Tyler was like a miser with his money - not wanting to share his toys. It just continued to escalate downward, until I finally put him to put at 8pm, which was too late for him after not having a nap. We'll see what tomorrow holds, but I can guarantee it will hold a NAP!
No comments:
Post a Comment